Thursday, December 20, 2012

This morning I went out with Isaiah to get some groceries while the big kids were at school. Within 5 minutes of leaving our apartment two well-intentioned Turks came up to me and proceeded to scold me for having Isaiah outside when it's so cold!

Now, the temperature was in the mid 40s today. Definitely not cold for us native Pennsylvanians. Isaiah was quite bundled up and even had tights on under his pants like the locals dress their kids in from October to April (no matter what the temperature is).


Some days I just want to tell every person that offers me unsolicited advice on how to raise my kids to just shove it. Some days I get tired of trying to be culturally sensitive in every situation and just want to let my family be who we are. Because we can't possibly follow every unspoken rule there is in this country.

And so I let my kids sit on the floor in the winter, drink cold water if they want to, not make them change their shirts the minute they start to sweat, and sometimes, if I'm feeling really rebellious, I even let them eat a little ice cream in the winter. GASP! Because there has to be a balance. While it is very important to try to adapt to the culture, it's also equally important to not let the culture define who you are and how you live. Because if you do, you will end up becoming frustrated and want to go home. It's okay to be different, it's okay to be you!

And after almost 4 years here, I think our family has finally figured out what works for us. In the beginning we were the extreme of "living life like the Turks" and that got exhausting. We just couldn't stay up till all hours of the night every night visiting with our Turkish friends and we also realized that we didn't have to be friends with just Turks. Although we're here to make friends with Turks, it's okay to be friends with other foreigners as well. We NEED that, actually.

We love so many things about this culture and our family has changed a lot of the ways we do things, from the way we dress, to the way we eat (tomatoes and cucumbers for breakfast, anyone?) because of the influence of the culture, but there is more of a healthy balance now. In so many ways Turkey has become our home and we really do love this land and these people!









 

1 comment:

  1. You've nailed it! Twelve years here and I still sometimes just want to lock the door and bask in my own little island of Ethio-Irish-American cultural chaos. Some things about you change living in another culture and some just don't, and it's okay. The locals aren't all the same and don't all follow the same cultural rules either! (Over here, I am bundling my son up while the locals stare because they think it is normal to let your kids outside in just a hoodie and no coat when it is 40F out. I actually had a chat with an Irish day care employee who felt like she needed to educate African families here because they put so many layers of clothes on their kids in winter. Um, no, it's FREEZING lady! Many of do not agree that 50F is an appropriate indoor temperature.)

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