Do I care about the things that God cares about?

I used to think that materialism was only a big stronghold in America. Then I moved to the other side of the world and the same struggles that were real in America were real over here too.

Before we moved to Turkey many well-meaning people told us to rent a nice apartment, set it up how we like it, basically to make it as comfortable as possible because life here is hard and we deserve to have a nice comfortable home since we “sacrificed” so much to move here. So we listened to others’ wisdom, not God’s. We stepped off the plane and moved to a very nice part of the city and went to Ikea and bought a bunch of nice stuff to fill our nice apartment. But then God started challenging us in a huge way.


Before I get too far, let me just say that there is nothing wrong with having nice things. But I do think there is a huge problem when we feel entitled to our money and things. We sometimes forget that all the stuff we have doesn’t really belong to us. Everything belongs to God; we are only stewards of it. And isn't it God who gave us the ability to produce wealth (Deuteronomy 8:18)? What if we wouldn’t hold onto our things so tightly and realize that God wants us to freely share what we have with those in need, and not just out of our excess? It’s not about giving only when we have extra, it’s about sacrificing things that we don’t need so that others can have the basic necessities of life.

I do think more Americans would be willing to give to those living in poverty, but many of us are just so comfortable in our lives and aren’t confronted with people in need every day. That is exactly how I lived up until a couple years ago; I knew about poverty but it didn’t directly affect me, so I could pretend it didn’t exist, right? Wrong! Even though I could forget that poverty and oppression exists, it is always on God's mind - it is all throughout the Bible. Our God is a God who secures justice for the poor and upholds the cause of the needy (Psalm 140:12). There are nearly 100 passages in the Bible that deal with our responsibiltiy to care for the poor and needy. It is a theme loud and clear throughout the whole Bible, not just a few select verses. It is obvious that these are the things on God's heart and he expects us to do something about it!

Learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow. Isaiah 1:17.

If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. 1 John 3:17-18

I wonder sometimes if I would have been so challenged with all this if God never would have asked us to up and move to the other side of the world. Seeing how other people live really changes the way you think, it really makes you re-evaluate the way you live. Right now we live in a nice apartment building, but right across the street our friends’ home consists of two tiny rooms. Their whole house is smaller than our living room. They all sleep in one room on couches; they lack many of the things that most of us would consider necessities, yet they are very happy.

In the last year God has been challenging us to get rid of those things we don’t need - and let me tell you there were a lot of things we didn’t need! I didn’t realize how much value I put into my possessions until God told me to get rid of them. So we got rid of a lot and it was really freeing. Our neighbors were asking us why our apartment was so bare and we had opportunities to share with some of them about living on less so that others can have more and what we have learned from the Bible about what God expects of us with regard to caring for the poor.

Sometimes it is still really hard for me, I like nice things, I like to wear nice clothes. But wouldn’t you know it - that is exactly the area God challenged me in: "What if you would get rid of more than half of your clothes, Charity? Can you let go of them? No one is going to remember 20 years from now that you didn't have lots of clothes or an apartment full of lots of stuff. What is important to me is that you care about the things that I care about. Please don’t get so caught up in the things of this earth that are going to pass away. Start living with an eternal perspective!"

How many children have I clothed? How many mouths have I fed? How many sick people have I looked after? How many strangers have I invited in? Am I using the resources God gave me to care for the poor, the oppressed, the sick, the orphan, the widow and the lost? Because those are the things that really matter!

‘For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to me.’

Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’ Matthew 25: 35-40

Weekend in Pictures

These pictures are from last weekend. For our 5th anniversary we were able to get away for a night and stay at a friend's house by the beach while Adam and Mel watched our kids. The beach house is in a beautiful little town and the beach is just a 5 minute walk away. This was the first time we had ever left both the kids overnight (once when Colson was a few months old we left him with my Mom for the night- but that's it) and we missed them so much that we came back early the next day. As much as we loved having some time just the two of us, life is just boring without our kids!

So what now?

So what's next for us now that we have accepted the referral of K? I will try and tell you, although I don't know exactly how things will go and international adoption is, well, unpredictable. We just don't know exactly how long it will be before we can go pick up our son! It's hard not knowing, but we are doing our best to wait patiently.

The next step in the process is to pass court and K will legally be our son in the eyes of Ethiopia. And after we pass court I will be allowed to post pictures and tell his name (I know that's what you all are waiting for - pictures!! Patience, people, patience). The thing is, is that every year the courts close down for about a month and a half for the rainy season. The courts will be closed from the middle of August to about the end of September. Our agency, AAI, said we most likely will not hear of a court date until after the courts re-open. Bummer!

The Ethiopian adoption process recently changed and now parents are required to travel to Ethiopia twice; once to attend the court hearing and then a second time for the embassy appointment where you get your child's visa and then travel home! We had been planning on traveling twice anyway, so it's not a big deal for us. The hard part will be meeting K and then having to leave him again until we come back to pick him up. There could be a month or more in between trips!

While we wait, we get to send K a welcome bag to let him know he has a family waiting for him. Our agency told us we can send a t-shirt, two small toys, a letter and a small photo album. It all has to fit in a gallon-size ziplock bag. So a few days ago I ventured out in the mid-morning 100 degree weather with Colson and Vienna to find the below items.



The toys Colson helped pick out were a dolmuş (a shared taxi in Turkey) and a little fire truck. Then we had to find a t-shirt. I went to the next closest store, because it was hot and my kids only last so long walking around the city. There wasn't much of a selection, but I think we did alright. Now I just hope it fits him! Then we went to another store to print out some pictures of our family and around our neighborhood and put together a little album for K to know who we are. Whenever I go out shopping in Turkey and find what I need I always feel so successful, I feel like I'm finally learning my way around and knowing how to communicate what I need.

We also received another picture of K the other day. The first one we got was a picture of when he had just arrived at the orphanage and the second picture was taken about a month later. He already looks so different, he looks much healthier! His little cheeks are filling out! YAY!

Referral!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We are beyond excited to announce that we have accepted the referral of a little 4-5 year old boy in Ethiopia!

We can't believe it, we're still in shock!

We found out about little K on July 9, 2010 - our 5th anniversary. Our agency had sent out an email update to all the families in the adoption process and mentioned that there were about five 4 to 5 year old boys that were waiting for families. As soon as I read the email I just knew we had to call and find out more info. So after we put the kids to bed Joel and I called up AAI (they are 10 hours behind us) and asked if any of the waiting boys had found families yet.

And that's when we found out about little K. They sent us his file and his picture and he is ADORABLE!

I was so excited, but at the same time as I looked at his picture and read his file all these fears started washing over me. K was a little bit older than what we originally thought the child we would adopt would be. I started thinking that I have no idea how to parent a 4-5 year old. I started having so many fears, doubts and questions about my ability to be a mom to this child and if he would even like me.

It just so happened that we had been planning a little anniversary getaway for the next night. Adam and Melanie had agreed to watch the kids overnight and we escaped to a friend's beach house. It worked out perfectly and we had a lot of time to pray for K and really seek God and hear from Him.

As I poured my heart out to God and told him how I was so scared, that I didn't know if I could be a good mom to K, how I didn't know if he would like me, how I know nothing about parenting an older child much less a child that has experienced profound loss and grief, how I just felt so inadequate, but then God reminded me of something.

He reminded me that everything he has asked me to do in my life I have felt inadequate for. I felt inadequate to be able to move to Turkey, I felt inadequate to be able to learn the language, I felt inadequate to raise my children here. I have no idea how to live here and raise my family here, but yet I'm doing it, one day at a time. But I'm not doing it on my own. God just needed to give me a good kick in the butt and remind me of that. I need to be relying on his strength instead of my own so HIS glory will be shown. I can do nothing without Him! And oh how I needed that reminder last weekend.

So I totally felt like God confirmed that, yes, K is our son! And that no matter how inadequate I feel, I'm not doing this alone! I need God's help to be a good mom to Colson and Vienna and I will need God's help to be a good mom to K! And how could we say no? Here was this little boy, who needed a loving family. And here we are- we are that family! So we came back from the weekend excited and ready to add another little boy to our family!

AHHHHHH! I still can't believe it! We absolutely cannot wait to meet our new son!!!!!


I'll update again soon with more details about what happens next. But can I just get another AHHHHHHHHH?!?! :) :)

Our Love Story

5 years ago today I married my best friend! I can hardly believe that we have been married for 5 years! Where did the time go?

In honor of our anniversary, I thought I would tell a little bit of our looooove story, lucky you!

(Sorry for the quality of these pictures - I took pictures of the pictures because I don't have any digital ones).

So here we go on our stroll down memory lane . . .

I have known Joel ever since 6th grade, but we became friends in 8th grade when we had homeroom together. We always sat together in homeroom and had fun talking. We even “went out” in 8th grade. He wrote me a check-yes-or-no-kind-of-letter. Oh yes he did! It was so sweet. Ah, the good old middle school days! We went out all of a few months, but it ended over the summer when I made my best friend call him up and tell him it was over. I’m sure his little 13-year-old heart was broken ;)

In high school our lockers were close to each other and over the next few years we became best friends. I had never met anyone like Joel that I could talk to so easily and have so much fun with! He was the sweetest guy, someone that everybody in school liked. He was just so nice to everyone, it didn’t matter if they were “cool” or not.



We would talk for hours on the phone late into the night. After Joel got his license he started coming to my youth group and got to know all my friends really well. He would come over and hang out at my house a lot and one day, a little before my 16th birthday, my Mom sat us down and asked us if we were dating or not, because everyone was asking her, so we had better figure it out! I guess that is technically when we started dating – thanks to my mom. Although I’m sure we would have made it official sooner or later.



We knew ever since we were 16 that we wanted to get married (Joel knew before we ever started dating). The hard part was waiting until we were old enough to get married.



After we graduated from high school I went to Mexico for 3 months to do some Christian schooling and then traveled to Guatemala and El Salvador for 2 months. It was SO hard to be apart from Joel for that time; I think one of the hardest things I’ve done in my life. But it was so very good for our relationship, God really confirmed to me during that time that Joel was the one for me!



Up until that point neither of us had really been living our lives for God, but during my time away from home God really began changing my life and He gave me a passion to see others come to know Him!



The day after I returned home to PA, Joel proposed. It was a Sunday afternoon and he asked me if I wanted to go for a drive. We drove around for awhile just talking and enjoying being together after our long separation. We stopped at a lake and hiked around for a little and then sat down on a fallen log beside the water. I knew he was going to propose – I mean, for goodness sakes, he bought the ring right after I left for Mexico and I knew he had it! So of course I wasn’t surprised, we had pretty much been planning our wedding ever since we were 16! But it was so sweet - he got down on one knee in the mud and asked me to be his wife. We were married 4 ½ months later – not too long after I turned 19, and he turned 20.



Three weeks after we got married, we packed up everything (which wasn’t much) in our little black volkswagon and hit the road for Mexico. We spent 3 months living there doing some more Christian schooling and then traveled to Costa Rica for a practical outreach and then to New Orleans to help with Hurricane Katrina relief. Really, it was the best way to start our marriage, I feel like a great foundation was laid. God totally grabbed a hold of our hearts and we began caring about the things that God cares about which eventually led us here to Turkey!



I am SO thankful that Joel is my husband. We grew up together, we have been through so many things together, and he knows me better than anyone! Joel is such an incredible husband and father. He loves Jesus with all his heart and the depth of his faith and trust in God truly inspires me. Joel really cares about putting his faith into action by caring for the poor, needy and lost! He has such a huge compassionate heart.




I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you, Joel, I love being on this crazy journey of following Jesus together with you! There’s no one I’d rather have by my side! Seni cok seviyorum!

Wordless Wednesday - The View From Here

Bubbles on the balcony

Daddy teaching Vienna how to blow bubbles








Trying it by herself



"Look Daddy, I did it!"



Colson, showing us how it's done!



















The past couple of weeks the kids have been all about bubbles! We have spent many an afternoon on the balcony blowing bubbles. Colson especially could just sit out there forever blowing bubbles and watching excitedly to see where the wind carries them.

"Look, Mommy, it's flying!"

"Wow, that was a big one!"

"Mommy, did you see it? Did you see it, Mommy?!"

Then when the the bubbles ran out, we would run to the kitchen and fill the bottle back up with soap and water and do it all over again. Oh, it's the simple things in life!

The one where I tell a story about my wisdom teeth.

A few weeks ago I began having some pain in my bottom two wisdom teeth. They had been through my gums for a long time, but hadn't ever come in the whole way. So I went to a dentist here and he told me that because they were only partway through my gums, they caused a flap of gum tissue to grow back over them. Food was getting trapped under the flap making my gums red, swollen, and painful. The dentist told me I needed to have the bottom two removed. Lovely! And all this time I thought I would be able to get through life without having my wisdom teeth taken out (has anyone reading this not had their wisdom teeth removed?)

So anyway, I was really nervous about doing the surgery in a foreign country, because everything just works so differently here and I had no idea what to expect. Plus, my dentist told me he was just going to give me a local anesthetic and I would be awake for the whole procedure. I don't know exactly how the procedure works in the states, but I'm pretty sure they put you under for it! So when he told me that, I'll admit I freaked out a little bit.

But I mustered up some courage and had the surgery last Wednesday (only for one of my teeth - they only do one at a time here) and everything went fine. The worst part was when the dentist stuck that huge long needle into my gums, but after that I didn't feel a thing. It was kind of weird being awake for everything, but I did close my eyes because I really did not want to see what kind of tools they were putting into my mouth to get that tooth out! And I was kind of glad that I don't completely understand Turkish and that I didn't catch most of what the dentist and his assistant were saying to each other. For all I know, they could have been talking about about how bad my breath smelled!

All that to say: I survived, I am alive and well and living to tell about it! I had myself all worked up for no reason. And dental work here is SO cheap. The hardest part was going back in everday for the first 3 days to have him check and make sure everything was healing properly. The dentist is about a 25 minute bus ride and a 15 minute walk away. I have spent most of my evenings out of the last week on my way to and from the dentist - in 100 degree weather, with a humongously swollen, black and blue cheek, with lots of people staring at the funny-looking foreign girl. Fun!

Oh well, Joel thought I was really brave and that I now have bragging rights for having my wisdom teeth taken out in a foreign country. And I did have my sweet husband taking care of me, the kids and the cooking and cleaning for the first few days after the surgery. I really do have such an amazing husband!

Now I just have to go in tomorrow evening for a check-up and then again on Wednesday to have my stitches taken out and that's it! But what an ordeal it was, and I think I might be waiting a few more weeks before I go back in for my other tooth!

But if you're ever in Turkey and need some dental work done, I know the place!

Okay, that's all, the end :)