Referral!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We are beyond excited to announce that we have accepted the referral of a little 4-5 year old boy in Ethiopia!

We can't believe it, we're still in shock!

We found out about little K on July 9, 2010 - our 5th anniversary. Our agency had sent out an email update to all the families in the adoption process and mentioned that there were about five 4 to 5 year old boys that were waiting for families. As soon as I read the email I just knew we had to call and find out more info. So after we put the kids to bed Joel and I called up AAI (they are 10 hours behind us) and asked if any of the waiting boys had found families yet.

And that's when we found out about little K. They sent us his file and his picture and he is ADORABLE!

I was so excited, but at the same time as I looked at his picture and read his file all these fears started washing over me. K was a little bit older than what we originally thought the child we would adopt would be. I started thinking that I have no idea how to parent a 4-5 year old. I started having so many fears, doubts and questions about my ability to be a mom to this child and if he would even like me.

It just so happened that we had been planning a little anniversary getaway for the next night. Adam and Melanie had agreed to watch the kids overnight and we escaped to a friend's beach house. It worked out perfectly and we had a lot of time to pray for K and really seek God and hear from Him.

As I poured my heart out to God and told him how I was so scared, that I didn't know if I could be a good mom to K, how I didn't know if he would like me, how I know nothing about parenting an older child much less a child that has experienced profound loss and grief, how I just felt so inadequate, but then God reminded me of something.

He reminded me that everything he has asked me to do in my life I have felt inadequate for. I felt inadequate to be able to move to Turkey, I felt inadequate to be able to learn the language, I felt inadequate to raise my children here. I have no idea how to live here and raise my family here, but yet I'm doing it, one day at a time. But I'm not doing it on my own. God just needed to give me a good kick in the butt and remind me of that. I need to be relying on his strength instead of my own so HIS glory will be shown. I can do nothing without Him! And oh how I needed that reminder last weekend.

So I totally felt like God confirmed that, yes, K is our son! And that no matter how inadequate I feel, I'm not doing this alone! I need God's help to be a good mom to Colson and Vienna and I will need God's help to be a good mom to K! And how could we say no? Here was this little boy, who needed a loving family. And here we are- we are that family! So we came back from the weekend excited and ready to add another little boy to our family!

AHHHHHH! I still can't believe it! We absolutely cannot wait to meet our new son!!!!!


I'll update again soon with more details about what happens next. But can I just get another AHHHHHHHHH?!?! :) :)